Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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