In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
