i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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