For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
