You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
