Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
