So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
