okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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