Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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