We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
