I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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