I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
