he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
