There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
