she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
