...so i touched it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
