I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
