she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
