woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
