So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
