jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
