Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
