Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
They have beer where we have blood.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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