This girl is more easily done than said...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
