Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
