i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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