It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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