i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you win again, gameday.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
