So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
