hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
