Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
