I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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