So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
