when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
