Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's never too late to be topless.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
