She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
