worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
