When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
