I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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