I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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