Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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