new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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