nut hugger
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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