The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
As shirtless as possible
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
