Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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