After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
