Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
