Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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