so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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