white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
